O.K. folks I know it doesn't sound like much but.....
We used to live in Winthrop, on a beach. (Yes I have a thing about the ocean)
In Winthrop they have a huge bon-fire on the 3rd of July, on the beach.
There is something totally magical about it, the fire is enormous, I'm talking huge. The center of the bonfire is an upright telephone pole and everything is carefully constructed around it. It's fricken huge! So anyhoo you have this huge fire poppin and crackling, the sky is black, you can hear the ocean roaring, everyone is in a great mood, the night is totally ALIVE. Walking in the sand, well it's amazing.
It is something that I really look forward to. This past July, although we were not living in Winthrop, we headed out to the bonfire and I was jacked. We have friends there.
Well what ended up happening is...Shawn couldn't walk onto the beach. He had his oxygen of course, which was no biggie I can carry that, but he couldn't physically walk in the sand.
It was awful, we kind of stood there on the sidewalk and watched. It wasn't awful because boo hoo we couldn't be down on the beach it was just the reality of how sick and weak he had become was in our faces so to speak.
Well the night left a big impression on me and I blogged about it. On my old blog I think.
(It was attatched to a CF web-site "CF.com" and they erased it, Fuckers)
So I blogged and I was so upset by the whole thing, I just felt horrible, for me, for Shawn, for my dgtr I just felt disturbed and beat down. You get the picture.
So after I posted, my CF friends left comments. They understood me, they understood my husband, they understood my heartache. Manyy of them told me that I should be hopeful that someday Shawn would walk with me on the beach again.
He has. Here is to keeping hope alive. Here is to the wonderful friends I have made. Thank you.
Rest in Peace Aunt Marybeth
1 year ago