Thursday, January 21, 2010

What a difference a day makes

First thanks to my ladies for the encouragement. So weird how just knowing that you girls feel for me is so reassuring. Am I a dork? Who cares....thanks for being there.

So today Shawn got up drove Sara Lou to school then came home with bags from Marshalls. He bought me some perfect work-out clothes and then took me to his gym. I have the most enormous gym phobia, well I have a "me" phobia.

But it was good, really good. I walked on the treadmill, not far...2 and 1/2 miles at 3.8 mph....for me was fun but I sweated my ass off because I kept my sweatshirt on. Hmmm won't do that tomorrow, I see why they are called "sweat" shirts. Gross. Then Shawn took me around to a few machines and we exercised together, he set the machines up for me and counted off my sets. It was so loving. I felt so proud to be with him. He was so nurturing.
He was so lovely that I totally forgot about my "me" phobia.

So anyway it was great and i'm so happy that we went and I am totally looking forward to going tomorrow. I can't believe I said that.

The rest of my day was good, productive.

Maybe the "fix", maybe my "fix" is the gym. I hope so.

Thanks and Good Night !!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

I got nothing...

I feel so negligent. Just cruising through some of the blogs that I used to read on an almost daily basis and realize that I am so out of touch. Out of touch with everything and nearly everyone.

I used to love blogging and commenting on the forums but I just don't seem to have it in me. I got nothing. I feel pretty empty. I feel like I am keeping my head above the water.

I'm not jumping off of any bridges or anything just feeling muted. I hate it. I want to be engaged. Engaged in life.

My husband is healthy, feeling good. My daughter is thriving and I am so amazed and proud of the wonderful young woman she is becoming.

My father is dying and I am drifting. Ugh