Sunday, October 25, 2009

"Holding On"

So I've been laid up for a couple of days with a stupid sprained ankle. With all the time to sit and be forced to be still I had a hard time knowing what to do with myself. I came to realize that perhaps my mind had been sneaky and had gotten a bit busy as of late. I thought I was pretty "together" but can see that I was just busy. My head had gotten racy and wild. I wasn't aware of it because I was One; keeping my body as busy as my mind and Two; Because my head wasn't full of the usual negative crazy chatter I thought it was quiet.

Now that I was forced to make my body still...I can see my mind was running full speed ahead, not calm and zenny at all.

So I stated doing things that zone me...I started crocheting but got a bit frustrated with the crappy yarn I was using so although I enjoy it I was feeling irritated instead of calm.

So I returned to what I glass. Ahhhhh how I enjoy working with it, sorting through the thousands of pieces for just the right colors, the hues, the shapes, sizes, textures, the age I love it.

I have gotten away from making "jewelery" maybe because Shawn does it, maybe because I am bored with the style and technique, maybe because I want something more. I want my glass to speak.

I have been working on larger projects, mosaics if you will. I'm not sure what you call them.
I finished a large piece that I have been working on and really love the look of it. So I decided to work on more large scale pieces and not apologize for it. Just embrace the beauty of all of those tiny pieces together.

A couple of months ago I sketched out a picture, very rough but it speaks to me. I love it. I love what it says and what it promises. I titled it immediately ..."Holding On"... there was no thinking about it. The title came as naturally as the sketch.

Weeks ago I prepared the glass sheet which was to be my canvas. I prepped it, taped it off, bumpered my sharp corners and left it to set up. Waited for when I was feeling inspired and *poof* sprained ankle and forced rest!

So last night I started actually putting the piece together, I love it. I worked on it for about 5 or 6 hours and it's form is emerging and I am in love with it.
These pieces especially one of this size take hours upon hours to complete, I'd guess a good 40-50 hours maybe more. There are thousands of tiny pieces of glass, I do not grout so the pieces have to really lock together like a puzzle, the shades, shapes have to be just right, everything works together and I think the result is wonderful.

SO last night I huddled over the glass, turning and shifting and not being able to get my ankle in a comfortable position but I didn't care..... my mind was quiet.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Boys of Summer

Ahh my all time favorite song and seems perfect for a day like today.

Here I sit at my beautiful desk looking out to the ocean and it is breathtaking. The water is rolling in tremendous easy swells, crashing in the distance against Egg Rock, the sky is just bright enough to see the hundreds of color variations in the ocean below. I love it.

I'll miss living here. I do love it. What I love more is my family. My husband stubborn and strong beyond belief, my wonderful daughter beautiful, kind, creative, expressive and so amazingly resilient. I love them so much more than any place or any thing. I could be happy with them anywhere.

So this morning I am busying myself, I have a house to clean and pack, errands to run and parties to plan. Today I am waiting to hear if we get the apartment down the street from here.

Last year this time, our lives were soooooooo very different. I hold onto the same Faith that got me through those tough times. I have Faith that God is laying things out for me, watching and loving me. So maybe we'll get this place and maybe we won't but whatever the case may be we'll be o.k.

No scratch that....we'll be living, a wonderful, happy, healthy life and we'll be in love.