I am having a hard time with the daily fluctuations in Shawn's health. Everyday there are so many variables that play into how Shawn feels. The temp, humidity, barometric pressure, air quality/pollen/ozone etc, how he slept, what he eats, hydration, scents/perfumes/laundry detergents, animals, stress etc.
I can't see what's coming next. It's too unpredictable.
I feel like I have so many loose ends. I don't have a plan. I need some direction.
It's not just Shawn either, I'm too up and down, I don't know how much is me and how much is real.
I feel like I am drowning.
On a good note...This morning we got up and went for a ride on the bike. Met up with the usual suspects @ the coffee shop. Today I met a woman a few years older than myself who has battled with breast cancer for the last year, she is now "clean", but still on maintenance meds.
We also met a woman who organizes charity/benefit rides and generously offered her help to plan ours.
So Blah to me for being a downer.
I have my husband and my daughter and I need to focus on enjoying us and not taking every frickin thing to heart.
Good, I have talked myself out of a blue mood!!!!
Rest in Peace Aunt Marybeth
1 year ago