Friday, November 7, 2008

Pooping me out

Hate to bitch, but all of this moving is pooping me out. I hate to come back to this place everyday, very depressing.

We had so many dreams for this house. I loved it as soon as I saw it. It really is an adorable little house, white with green shutters perched on top of a hill.
He got so sick so fast, we never stood a chance. Hindsight is 20/20 right? I try not to but I sometimes think about how different Shawn's health might be if we had never set foot in here. I know this is part of the master plan and all that but I do wonder.

So now, my little house sits here void of life like it did for 20 years before we came along.

When we bought the place it was full with all of the previous owners belongings. All of her furniture, glassware, appliances and even all of the things that should have been special to her. Cards exchanged over the course of their marriage, Christmas decorations, everything.
She wanted to leave this house behind her and all of it's memories.

I never unpacked my precious things, I never felt welcome in this house. I know that sounds weird but it is most definitely true. I never felt like I could make this our home.

So now, I am moving all of my treasures that have been packed away since 2004, and decorating our new place. Our new home. A home that feels right in every way. I feel like we belong there and that it was waiting for us.

This also leaves me with a houseful of old furniture, beautiful things but I want nothing to do with them. So I hope to post everything on the net and sell them. Ethan Allen dining and kitchen sets, several pieces of late 1800's furniture, and wood working tools galore. I even have a fricken anchor in my basement!

Well, back to work!


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