Tuesday, May 19, 2009

He's in the clink

Crap. Long story and right now is probably not the best time for me to try and get it all down but here is the basics.

He went in for sched dilitation and biopsy, his R side had pus in it and was super restricted. They opened him up and cleaned him out but are keeping him for a few days of IV abx. The restriction kept him from clearing secretions and they pooled and festered yum.

Rule #1 Don't mess with your Transplant Team

Shawn got a good ass kicking from several members.

I felt like crawling under the bed. I should have insisted that he went in Friday night. It was just weird timing. He had pre-op on Friday, they did a chest x-ray, I kind of assumed that if there was anything on it they would have notified us but no. I'm not sure if there was anything there on the x-ray or not, I'll have to clarify that.

Man I am pooped out, I feel like shit. I hate leaving the hospital alone. I hate it. I know that Shawn is where he needs to be, believe me and I am grateful that he has such a great team but I miss him.
It's 4:30 and I just miss him. This is the shit that reminds me that he is not o.k.
When he feels good, even when he is going in every two weeks to be opened up it feels alright. Like he is going to have his braces tightened or something, it doesn't feel scary. In fact I am comforted by the fact that they are always peeking into those beautiful new lungs of his.

I want to live in the state of semi-denial. I like it there.


Kellee said...

I know the feeling.
I hate it and it never seems to get any easier.
I find myself pretty much living at the hospital when hes in.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.


Lisa said...

Oh Tina, I a so sorry. I know what you mean about leaving the hospital alone. It sucks. Semi-denial is a good place to be sometimes--it keeps us sane!! Please let me know if there is anything that I can do. I am going to send you my digits in case you ever need them.


Christy said...

I'm sorry Tina. Hopefully that abx will clear him up in no time.

I just know it's much harder on the spouse of a CFer than it is the CFer. Hang in there!