Grrrr. O.K. well I'll probably post more about this later because after catching up on everyone else's blog I realize that I am finally getting sleepy and it is 3:47 a.m. so that is a good thing.
So the moon is full and when that happens the tides are super high and super low and when that happens the seaglass is abundant and when that happens Tina is a happy camper!
Early this morning 7ish the tide was out and I could see a stupid guy down there with his stupid baggie and I wanted to throw a rock at him or at least hope that a seagull would poop on him, because I wanted to go down there. I knew that I couldn't because Shawn was going to be out all morning and I did not want to take the chance of running into "C". No spank you.
That guy stayed down there until the tide came in.....I knew it wasn't "C" (I have binoculars mwahahahaha)
(wow, side note...the birds just started singing...soooo loudly that I can hear them with all of the windows closed. No wonder I usually wake up every morning at this ungodly hour...time for a white noise machine 3:54 a.m.)
So anyway I didn't get to go down then but made Shawn promise me that later 6ish when the tide was out he would go down with me.
Shawn and Sara were out together when the tide went out this afternoon and MAN I wanted to go down in the worst way but I didn't. I didn't go because I was petrified that I was going to run into "C" (the fullmoon and corresponding tides really bring out the beachcombers).
I worked on a project most of the day and stared at the beach....ahhh imagining the treasures I might find and thanking God for our beautiful home.
Shawn comes home and I am chopping at the bit to go over. He's a doll and doesn't make me feel like I am being a pain in the ass even though I know he was headed for the couch. He collars Jake and away we go.
You know I didn't feel right from the moment we got there. The coast was clear so to speak, no sign of "C" but I couldn't get into my zone, my eyes couldn't focus on the glass, I was feeling frustrated and distracted. I never feel that way on the beach when I am with Shawn and of course never ever before the stalker crap started.
I look way down the beach ( WAY down, like easily 600yds away) and I see this guy ( my eyes are bad ) the clothing doesn't look like "C", but the way he moved looked like him. I scurried back toward my end where Shawn was talking to another guy with his dogs. I felt safer, so moved down toward the water but right below Shawn.
I am telling you I dropped my eyes down to the sand for what seemed like 5 seconds and when I picked my head up he was there.
He was maybe 15 ft away from me and moving very quickly, big grin in his face, saying something about me never getting enough and never being satisfied ( I'm assuming he was making reference to the seaglass but it sounded weird) I nearly had a heart attack. I totally froze. All of the scenarios that I had rehearsed in my head and all of the advice from my therapist, the police and my friends went right out the window.
Shawn was there in front of me, between "C" and I before I realized anyone else was moving.
"C" stopped short and said something like "How are you doing?"
Shawn said something to "C" and sort of put his arm out for me to move behind him because that mother fucker was actually circling my husband to get to me. I don't know what else was said I swear to God it was like I fell asleep or something. The next thing I knew we were already up the stairs and Shawn was yanking on my arm because I think I nearly walked into traffic.
I think Shawn called the police, I don't know we'll talk about it today I'm sure. I cooked dinner and went to bed. All of the air had been let out of me, I felt flat and I just wanted to go to sleep.
When Shawn came up to bed, I told him that I was thankful he was with me. He told me not to think about it right then and to go to sleep. He said so sweetly "You're safe, sleep Baby" and so I did until of course around 1 a.m.
I woke up pissed at myself for forgetting everything I had planned on doing and saying. I also realize that I really need to do something. Take a self defense class or shatever but I can not be afraid like this, it's awful.
Rest in Peace Aunt Marybeth
1 year ago